you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i love accidental penises.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
