I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize