i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
