By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
