The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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