margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Randomize
