were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
