whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
