I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just pee around me
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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