i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
