Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize