Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize