I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
