i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
