Where is the hickey?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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