Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
