Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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