I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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