It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Dicks are not precious.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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