im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
