so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
