You really coming over, don't trick.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
