it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
