Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
