We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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