She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My life is pants optional.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize