having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
