I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
