I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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