Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
