Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
