How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize