Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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