I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
