i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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