omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
