the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
