I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
