The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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