Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
