So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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