Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I said "one day" and that day is not today
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
