My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
