Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
