how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
