Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
