You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
What a dumb baby whore.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
