I wanna passion pit in your ass
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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