Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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