I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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