He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
