I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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