We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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