i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
