whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
