love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
