I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
