Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
