dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
