Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
did you just send me my own nude
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
