The maid of honor just puked.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
