You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
