The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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