Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
