so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
