What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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