just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
