escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
